Trust

I was having one of those weeks where I knew I needed help... lots of help.  I had been wanting to call my bible study leader, Karen, to grab coffee for a while but this seemed like a perfect time to gain some wisdom from someone further down the road.


I'm confident I made little cohesive sense for about two hours.  Nonetheless something amazing happened.  Between my ramblings Karen would share a simple sentence or two that would make me pause and think.  One of those sentences occurred when I was describing that some days I would begin to worry when I knew in my brain that there was no logical need to do so.  


She asked, 'Melissa when you bring your prayers to God are you leaving them at the cross?'  Initially I thought to myself, 'well of course because where else would I leave them?'  But as I started to think about it I really wasn't... thus my worrying continued.


Why is it so hard to trust?  I've been thinking a lot about trust because when our little kids come home to us this summer I hope I can do everything possible to help them know they can trust us and that we want to care for them in the best way we know how to.  I have heard that it can take around 3 months of constant care for children who are adopted to truly believe that they can depend on you and be secure with you.


I think I'm like a child in training with God.  I know in my head I can trust Him, but often I live differently- I want to try to control things on my own.  When our children come, this summer, I hope I can be patient for as long as it takes them to understand my love.  I already know I will fail and need forgiveness.  This has all led me to dwell on God's patience as He is totally trustworthy and worth giving my trust to.  And yet time and time again he patiently leads me to Himself showing me in ways I can understand that I can trust him.


"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you along, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8